Category Archives: How to build self-esteem

Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection

When we were younger, we had so many ideas about how life should be, some of us had dreams of what we would be, of what we could be; we had thoughts and ideas about life and about love. As we grew older some of those thoughts and ideas changed. The truth is, our friends have a big influence on us and sometimes it’s because of our friends that our thoughts and ideas have changed. Sometimes we find ourselves so far off track and we find ourselves doing things we never wanted to do or never thought we would do. Let’s talk about different ways to overcome the fear of rejection.overcoming fears

Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection-Be Honest With Yourself

Many times it’s hard to admit that we’re not in as much control of our lives as we would like to be. One of the ways to overcome the fear of rejection is to be honest with ourselves. Many times we become what others want us to be so we can have at least one area in our lives where we are accepted. This doesn’t have to be bad or anything; it’s just not what you wanted to do.  Often we make some very bad choices simply because we don’t want to be rejected. Take an honest look at the choices and decisions that you’ve made in the last thirty days and be willing to make changes.

consequencesWays To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection-Possible Consequences

Being accepted is one of the most important things in the life of a young person, and in the process of being accepted we often confuse being accepted with being in love or being loved.

For many of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, we have settled for sex for a few moments of feeling cared for, to fit in, maybe for a few moments to escape the feeling of being alone, rejected. I think that one of the best ways to overcome the fear of being rejected is to know some possible consequences of doing things to be accepted. Listen to this:

  •  The percentage of high school students who have had sexual intercourse increases by grade.  62 percent of 12th graders had had sexual intercourse, compared with 33 percent of 9th graders. 
  • Nearly one fifth (17%) of sexually active females ages 15-19 and 9 percent of males the same age said they used no method of contraception the last time they had sex.
  • About a third (34%) of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 – about 820,000 a year, and approximately four million teens contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD) each year.

This is around the same time our bodies are starting to change and what our peers think about us begins to become very important to us. It kind of makes sense doesn’t it? This is around the same time when we start to feel like we’re alone, we feel like no one really understands us and we start to feel like we’re becoming adults.

Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection-Accept Who You Areovercome fear

When we talk about ways to overcome the fear of rejection I think it’s important to state the obvious; it’s okay to be who you are and just know that there are people who will respect and accept you for who you are. Well, listen to this: Among teens aged 15-17 that have never had sexual intercourse, 94 percent said that concern about pregnancy, HIV/AIDS (92%), STDs (92%) and feeling ‘too young’ (91%) influenced their decision to wait.

Can you relate to any of the concerns that the people around the same age as you addressed? Being honest with yourself allows you to make needed changes in your decisions, knowing some of the consequences of settling for sex when you want to be accepted can help you to choose to respect yourself and accepting who you are empowers you to have more control in your life. All of these things are effective ways to overcome the fear of rejection.

How We See Ourselves-Broken Mirrors

Have you ever seen a broken mirror? Have you ever looked into one? It’s really interesting, especially if you’ve seen one in a movie. In the movies, everything looks different but, you can still make out the reflection. Now, if you’ve ever looked into a real broken mirror, you’ll notice that it’s hard to get a complete picture of what you’re looking at because of the broken glass. In a broken mirror, the reflection is distorted, there are fragments/broken pieces of glass that allow you to see a reflection based on the size and shape of the broken piece of glass. It changes how we see ourselves.

broken mirrors How We See Ourselves-See Who We Are

Many times, we view our lives as if we are looking into a mirror and based on what we see in front of us, usually determine what decisions that we make. We base our choices and thoughts on what we believe to be an accurate reflection of our lives; how we see ourselves.  How do you know if you’ve been looking into a fragment of a broken mirror thinking that you’re looking into a full mirror? Many times we accept what we see or think we see; how we see ourselves and we accept information about ourselves that isn’t always true. And then we base everything we think and feel about ourselves on what we see and most of the time, we really don’t like what we see, we really don’t like the information we’re getting about ourselves. It’s like we are looking into a broken mirror!

 How We See Ourselves- Adjusting our vision

Let’s begin to dig deeper into the power of how we see ourselves and how we make decisions and choices based on what we are willing to believe/accept about ourselves. We have to learn how to identify and accept the truth about who we really are and what we are capable of doing with our lives. broken mirrors

  • Do you have trouble in some of your classes  because you don’t understand what’s being taught? It’s not that you’re not  smart, you just don’t get it! And the teacher is so busy they can’t  break it down for you and now, you don’t want to look “stupid”, so you just sit there and feel bad which slowly turns into frustration and  other things-CRACK!
  • Do your friends make you feel like you have to be a certain way for them to like you? Between you and me, we all want to fit in, we all want to have friends-someone we can talk to and just be you around. But, can you really be yourself? Didn’t you try once and you      remember how they looked at you, you remember what they said that made you  act like you were just playing-CRACK!
  • There are simply “the issues of life” that help to form the mirror in which we view ourselves; the different aspects of experiences that are put together that we call “LIFE”, shape how we see ourselves-how we believe our life to be or think it should be.

How We See Ourselves- Adjusting our vision

Let’s get a little deep here; could those experiences simply be the tools to help develop and draw out of us the character How we see ourselves 3needed to become the person we were created to be? Those experiences both good and bad were not meant to define who we are; but through those experiences, how we deal with those experiences expose and reveal who we truly are. Martin Luther King Jr. did not allow the circumstances of his day to define who he was, it was those very experiences that pulled out of him the person he was created to be. They aided in the development of the person his was. The circumstances of his life didn’t dictate who he was; he was defined by how he handled those circumstances. Let’s begin to repair that mirror. When we change how we see ourselves we begin to change the way we make decisions. When we care less about ourselves we make careless decisions.  Let’s begin to see the real you, let’s begin to change how we see ourselves!